Real Love is Radical

During her presentation at the Harmonize Your Life Women’s Self-Care Retreat, Dr. Anastasia Alvarado made the statement, “Self-Care Says I Love You, Self-Love, Says Prove It.” This was a radical statement that created space for us all to reflect and reconsider the ways in which we are practicing self-love.

February 14th is Valentine’s Day, a day when people are hustling about to express love for their spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends and loved ones.  Children will be making Valentine’s cards and gifting candy to their friends, teachers, and parents.  In fact, the flower and greeting card industries report this holiday as second only to Mother’s Day in sales and revenue. Jewelry stores will have extended hours as men and women search for that gift that expresses love for their significant other.  While there is nothing wrong with these expressions of love, real love cannot be limited to a day on a calendar or commercialized expressions of love and fidelity.

Real love is radical. Real love is an unconditional gift that we give to ourselves and others in all seasons of life, whether difficult or pleasant. The truth is when we enter relationships with anyone, a spouse, a child, a friend, or close association it requires levels of maturity, selflessness, patience, kindness, and sacrifice.

It's radical to accept the love of God who loves us despite our imperfections and shortcomings. It’s radical for a parent to love a child who has repeatedly rejected their love and guidance. It’s radical for spouses to love one another beyond a physical attraction. It’s radical to love yourself, turning the love that you give to others, inward.

This year, I challenge you to love yourself by practicing self-compassion, self-grace, patience, and kindness. Prove the love you have for yourself by caring for your mind, body, spirit, and soul. Rejuvenate your soul by practicing the spiritual disciplines of prayer, fasting, silence and meditation. Drink water, exercise, and eat healthy. Rest, play, cry, and laugh heartily. Send flowers and write a love note to yourself. Gift yourself that outfit you’ve been eyeing and purchase that dream vacation.

May you practice real radical love this year,

Dr. Toni