I'm Thankful

Mere words cannot express how much I appreciate and love my husband, Johnathan E. Alvarado for his constant love and companionship. Life, marriage, ministry, parenting and grief has been a beautiful opportunity to demonstrate the vows we made to cherish and hold one another for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health, until we are separated by death. The comfort we became to one another during the illness, caregiving and subsequent passing of our mothers, Margaret and Delores, our brother Pedro and our family dog, Leo has sustained us through it all. You are my person, the wind beneath my wings, the push in my back, my brother-in-Christ, my spiritual covering, my husband, lover and best friend.

 To my sons and daughters, Johnathan, II, Jasmine, Joshua and Ariel, who are always there to lift my spirit during moments of grief. Your unfailing love is like oxygen to my soul. Our shared grief and the ways you uniquely express grief, has taught me how grief impacts the next generation. Thank you for being a safe place for me, Dad and one another. The memories we share and the tears we cry over our lost loved ones bring healing to my heart.

 To my grandson, Johnathan Elliott Alvarado, III, I thank God every day for the gift of you being born during this season of my life. The fact that your bassinet sat in the very spot of the bedroom where my mother’s hospice bed sat, as she breathed her last breath, is a blessing that I will always cherish. Holding you and watching you grow like my garden is one of the greatest gifts I could receive while writing this book. I plan to live a long time and dance at your wedding!

 I’m overcome with emotion reading the epilogue written by my sister Yolonda Griffin Johnson who shares candidly about the daily management of her grief associated with the loss of our father Charles Griffin, her daughter, Raven Charlese Johnson, marriage to Gary Johnson, our stepfather Henry Baker, our mother Margaret Griffin Baker. The bond we share as sisters with Inez Griffin Manuel and Cassandra Griffin from childhood through caregiving and laying our mother to rest, is extremely special. I am thankful for our companionship on this grief journey and proud to be the “Big Sister” of the Griffin Girls.

 I am thankful for the sisterly support of my Soror, Dr. Sarah Williams, Licensed Clinical Mental Health Therapist Grief & Trauma Specialist who has written a powerful foreword addressing the impact of grief on communities of color and women. Our candid conversations about the grief associated with the loss of your mother and husband have given me courage to face my own.

 I’m eternally grateful for the support of my editor, Dr. Joanne Broder, PhD Media Psychologist & Author, for coming alongside me in the writing of this book. Your gentle coaching and patience in the moments where I had to stop and process my grief made this book project a source of comfort and healing.

 I’m in tears reading the endorsements of my colleagues Dr. Valerie J. Bridgeman, Dr. Jeanne Porter King, Dr. Karri Bryant and Dr. Chanequa Walker-Barnes. Your words reflect the impact of this book, your lived experiences, our communal grief as women of color, and the benefit of intentional self-care and soul-care.

Thanks to Ms. Lacie Williams for the beautiful graphics and layout of this book. You always capture in print designs what my mind and heart desires to communicate to the world. Of all the book projects you have helped me produce, this one has been most special because you knew my niece and mother personally. You are more than a graphics and print designer, you are family and friend.

 Thanks to my Harmonize Your Life Self-Care Network Team, Ashaki Stinson, Enjoli Bland-Reed, Michele Patton Johnson Erica Johnson, and Juanita Butler, for providing administrative, creative and technical support. I appreciate your dedication to me, your personal commitment to self-care and soul-care, and your desire to help me reach countless men and women through this book.

Finally, I thank God for my community of family, friends, girlfriends, sisters in ministry, fitness trainer, Gable Sims, chiropractor, Dr. Shawna Brumfield, dentist, Dr. Monica Jones, Periodontist, Dr. Myra Barnes, yoga and breathing instructor, Jada Right, mental health therapists, Dr. Chandra Dew and Dr. Felicia White-English, counselors, spiritual director, Dr. Jessica Ingram, pastor, Bishop LaFayette and Mother Theresa Scales, spa therapists, medial doctors, church members, mentees, spiritual sons and daughters, and Sorors who are a part of my self-care and soul-care board of directors. Your texts messages, phone calls, deep conversations, flowers, plants, tea and tea set gifts, comfort blankets, workouts, chiropractic adjustments, medical check-ups, massages, facials, yoga sessions, deep breathing classes, grief sessions, walks in the park, hikes up the mountain, planned and spontaneous prayer and worship gatherings, breakfast, lunch, brunch and dinner meals, tea parties, girls’ trips, and vacations, provide me inspiration to live until I die, love deeply, laugh heartily, reflect profoundly, write sincerely, and flourish like a well-watered garden.

I thank God for being on this grief journey with each of you,

Dr. Toni